Tempting Hatred: A Dark Bully Romance Page 5

  We had established last night that he was sexually attracted to me, and perhaps that brought back old feelings of disgust with myself. I knew that I had to get over that if I was ever to have a functional relationship, but the past is a hard thing to shrug off. It sticks to you like maple syrup, refusing to let go every after you have washed your hands clean. It will show up in places you never touched, and the flavor will cling to your teeth long after you brushed them.

  I wanted to cleanse myself of my ex-boyfriend and be done with it. Why shouldn’t I, a young woman who had beat the odds, be so locked down by someone who didn’t even matter anymore.

  Was it the verbal abuse and manipulation that I was scared of? Oliver didn’t seem to exhibit either of those behaviors. He was as normal as they came, aside from his strictness about his cabinet. That could be what I didn’t like about him. His reaction could have been softer, but he was rigid and uncaring, not unlike my parents and my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t need more of that in my life.

  I’d have to be more careful around him after what happened in his bedroom. I didn’t need a repeat of that incident to drive his feelings for me further. I prayed that he didn’t even remember what we did. A girl can hope.

  I didn’t bother heating up the spaghetti on the stove before I shoveled it down my throat. I wasn’t keen on staying up much longer once I was fed. I retreated back to my bed and dove beneath the crisp sheets, planning the sleep it out until the next day.

  Chapter 11

  Monday moved in quickly, bringing me back to the science building to endure new lectures with Oliver close by. I spotted him at his desk in the middle of the class and purposefully sat as far as I could from him to avoid contact. That didn’t work.

  I was always early to class, coming in five to ten minutes before the professor arrived. Nobody ever wanted to be late to Professor Lyche’s classes, because she was a bitch, plain and simple. If you arrived after her, you would be locked out of the room, unable to participate in the lecture, and given a big fat red X on her attendance sheet. Not good, considering that three of those would bump you down a whole letter grade. She took attendance seriously.

  I was early to every class I went to, aside from Chemistry lab because it was directly after History, leaving me with a sliver of time to run from one side of campus to the other. Thankfully, campus was small enough to pull that off.

  I traced my finger around on my desk, waiting nervously for Professor Lyche to arrive. I never thought I would look forward to seeing that unpleasant woman, but today there was someone who I wanted to see even less.

  Oliver spotted me quickly, getting up almost immediately and coming to my desk. With several minutes to kill, he wouldn’t have to go back to his desk any time soon. I mentally braced myself for his arrival, clutching the thermos full of iced coffee in my hand, condensation wetting my hand.

  “How was your Sunday?” Oliver asked, standing over me and blocking out nearly all the light in the process.

  I looked up at his massive body, my eyes finding his crotch first since it was pushed up so close to me. “Hungover,” I answered simply.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, same. Hey, listen. Could you not talk about what happened in my room. I’d prefer to keep that lowkey.”

  I was surprised. Part of me had expected him to brag to the entire school how he had managed to kiss me the first time we hung out.

  Oliver was able to read the look on my face. “Let’s just say I have a crazy ex. Best to keep stuff like that out of the public ear, you know?”

  I highly doubted his story about his supposed ex the moment it left his lips, but since I also didn’t want people to think that he and I were an item, I nodded along with his words. “Of course, the only one who knows anything is Mia.”

  Oliver rubbed his chin. “Fair enough. Alright, that’s really all I wanted to say,” he said, stepping back from my desk and allowing the light to pour back into my space.

  “This is not a thing,” I blurted, “We aren’t a thing.” I desperately wanted to make that point clear to him. It wasn’t going to be some type of secret relationships with subtle meetups. I didn’t want him pulling me into empty rooms during parties and trying to kiss me again.

  Oliver looked confused. “I was drunk, Lydia. You’re too much of a dork for me. Peace,” he said, waving his hand and walking back to his desk.

  Even though I didn’t like him, I was upset that he had called me a dork and dismissed me so easily. If he didn’t like me, then why had he left me a note while I was at work, and why was he so glued to me during the party. He really seemed to want something from me, whether he would openly admit it or not.

  I wanted to find out what his deal was, but that would have to wait until later. I could probably ask Mia to dig into him a little, and fact check his crazy ex claim. The suspicion toward him that I initially had was growing, and I wasn’t going to lay this to rest just yet. He had my interest.

  I twisted off the large cap to my thermos and took a sip of the iced coffee that I had dumped into it from the coffee shop. I liked to keep it ice cold all day, and carrying it around in the plastic cup they provided at the shop didn’t provide that luxury. I brought my own thermos to hold my iced coffee.

  I drummed my nails against the side of the large metal cylinder holding my coffee while I waited for Professor Lyche to enter the class and start the lecture. I kept glancing over at Oliver, but he remained stoic.

  Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Professor Lyche walked in, slammed the door shut, and began her lecture.

  Chapter 12

  Mia insisted on going over to Oliver’s again to finish her game of poker with him, but I decided to hold back so that I could study in the library. I didn’t want to risk another secret encounter with Oliver even though he had expressly stated that we weren’t going to be a thing.

  I walked to the library as rain began to fall on the trampled grass that led to the library. The most direct path to the library from each building had its own path worn into the soil to the point where no grass would grow there.

  My feet hit the dirt quicker than usual, eager to get to the library before a torrential downpour. This time of year got a lot of rain, but I hadn’t packed my rain jacket because the skies had been clear that morning. Not anymore.

  Cold droplets reminded me that winter was on its way, sooner than I wanted it to be. It was still warm outside, but the rain was cold enough to give me a chill. I hurried toward the library as the sky grew darker.

  I took the shallow concrete steps by fours up to the enormous wood and brass library doors. Leaning into my pull as I brought the door open in front of me. I slipped inside into the warmth of the library, glad to be out of the cold rain.

  My phone buzzed in my front pocket. I pulled it out to find an email notification from my ex-boyfriend. Jesus, not again. He had taken to sending me emails every few months since we broke up, and even though it had been years, he still sent them.

  I had stopped reading these emails almost a year ago when they had begun to turn weird an obsessive. There was something seriously wrong with that guy, and I didn’t want to entertain the notion that I still cared about him. It was best to ignore this behavior.

  The police weren’t going to do anything about the emails because my ex had never threatened me or exhibited the intent to stalk me. I chose not to read any of the emails now because they would only upset me. He would talk about how I could return to him whenever I was ready, but that he was waiting for me.

  He couldn’t have been more delusional. I long-pressed the email and deleted it. I wasn’t going to start reading his nonsense today, or ever. I wanted to keep my brain focused on school. I wasn’t going to let petty drama get in the way of my grants and scholarships.

  Slipping the phone back into my pocket, I took a turn down a long corridor leading away from the study hall. Everyone with any sense knew that studying in the study hall was the worst option for productivity because of all the students th
ere socializing and ignoring their homework.

  I headed toward a corner of the library where they kept dry non-fiction reference books, a place that few people frequented. There were a few tables down there that were ideal for my studies because they were so quiet.

  I tossed my bag into a chair and sat down in the one beside it, pulling out my laptop and placing it on the long wooden table in front of me. I was surprised to find another student sitting across from me already. Apparently, the word was getting out about how great of a place this really was.

  I glanced up at him before opening my computer. He was good-looking, and probably a senior. He was dressed in a slick cream buttondown and a black sweater. He wore glasses, but he was too handsome to be a geek.

  I found myself staring at him longer than I should have, and he noticed. I flipped my laptop open in front of me, but it was too late. I got his attention.

  “Nice spot,” he said, waving a pen in the air around him.

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s my favorite place in the library.”

  “Mine too, now that you’re here,” he said smoothly.

  I let it slide. He was a good looking guy, and I had warmed up to accepting advances because of Oliver. He had broken through a wall the other night, and I felt more open because of it, even if I wasn’t into Oliver specifically.

  I smiled at him, and he smiled back, revealing a set of almost perfect white teeth.

  “My name is Todd, by the way,” he said, reached a hand up over the table to shave mine.

  I shook his hand. His grip was firm but friendly. “Lydia,” I replied.

  “That’s a beautiful name,” Todd said.

  Boy was this guy slick. As if I hadn’t heard that line a million times. My wall came back up when he started with the shitty pickup lines. At least Oliver didn’t do the pickup artist junk. Was I overanalyzing this? Probably.

  “I need to get back to studying,” I said, looking back down at my computer.

  Todd nodded. “Agreed. Some people say bros over hoes, but I prefer grades over babes.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I’m on the same page.”

  Todd flashed me another winning smile and went back to his work. I sat there, feeling slightly uncomfortable in my own skin after that brief conversation. In just a span of a few days, I had advances from two different guys, not including my desperate ex-boyfriend.

  I tried to focus on my studies, but Todd’s words rang in my head. Why was I so concerned with guys all of a sudden? It seemed that it all began with Oliver, but that wasn’t where it would end. Already, I was beginning to warm up to strangers more.

  This could go either way for me, pulling me out of my studies and ruining my college career, or simply giving me a better grasp on my social life and leading me toward a fulfilling relationship with Mr. Right this time. Time would tell.

  Todd looked back up at me and stared in my direction until I acknowledged him again. I looked up.

  “Do you want to get dinner at the dining hall together later?” He asked casually.

  Time to make a decision Lydia. What do you do? Blow this guy off or let yourself get pulled in again. Eh, he was too handsome to say no to right away.

  “Sounds fine to me. I think they have potatoes again tonight, though,” I finally replied.

  Todd laughed. “Those dried up things are alright if you smother them in ranch dressing. I don’t know why they don’t just boil them instead of roasting them. They would be palatable that way.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, that would be way better.” I looked down at the time in the bottom right corner of my laptop. It was five. “We could leave at seven if that’s good with you,” I suggested.

  “No problem. Sounds like a plan,” Todd said cheerfully. “Back to work, I guess.”

  I nodded, digging back into the homework I was doing.

  All the while I was studying, I kept thinking about what Mia was doing with Oliver. It almost made me jealous that she was over at his place playing poker with him. I wondered if he was attracted to her. They were probably goofing around and laughing.

  I stared at the words on my screen, trying to concentrate on what I was doing. I was going to the dining hall with Todd, practically like a date, and I was thinking about what Mia and Oliver were doing. I couldn’t have everything. If I wanted Oliver, I shouldn’t be pushing him away.

  There was something selfish inside of me that wanted Oliver to like me, but for me not to like him back. I wanted to have my pick of anyone and not feel like dating was a big game that I had to struggle with or a challenge that was hard to overcome.

  Choosing to go to dinner with Todd wasn’t going to make Oliver jealous, because he wouldn’t know about it, but I imagined him finding out and feeling like he missed his chance with me. It would be a power move, done solely to make me feel like I was the one in charge.

  The only women that did shit like that were women who didn’t feel strong on their own. They had to use men to give them a sense of power that they lacked in their normal life. I wasn’t trying to be one of those women, but now that I got a hint of what it could be like, I found myself allured by what it could do for my confidence.

  Enough, Lydia. Get to work.

  I turned my thoughts back to homework and jammed the keys on my keyboard until the words I was typing began to resemble something sensible and academic. After a few minutes, I was back in the zone and didn’t snap out of it until Todd got up to signal it was time to leave for dinner.

  Chapter 13

  Todd had a small pile of potatoes on his plate with a hell of a lot of ranch dressing drowning them to the point where they were barely visible under it. I laughed when I saw it.

  “Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Todd said, sitting down across from me at the dining hall table.

  The table was still sticky from whoever had sat their last, but the place was booming with students, and there wasn’t anywhere else to sit. I had done my best to wipe up the loose crumbs with a napkin, but someone must have spilled soda on the table or something because my sleeve stuck to it when I put my hand down.

  “Ew,” I said, peeling my arm from the table, black fuzz from my sleeve adhering to the table.

  Todd sunk his fork into the slathered white potato and pulled it off his plate. “It’s not bad. You should try it,” he said.

  “No, I’m saying ew about the table,” I said, “It’s all sticky.”

  Todd leaned over and chuckled. “That’s pretty bad. They don’t clean anything until the end of the day. I give them one star.”

  Lighthearted, not too serious, and friendly. I’d give Todd a five star so far, but it was too soon to tell him anything like had. I still had my guard up against men.

  Todd popped the dripping potato into his mouth in one bite, chewing on it and nodding. “It’s really not bad,” he said after swallowing.

  I laughed. “I’d rather not risk the calories,” I replied, taking a sip of water in preparation for the dry potato I was about to place into my mouth.

  “Aw, come on. You look fantastic,” Todd said.

  He better watch it least I start ego tripping. I smiled at him and said a quiet thank you. He made me feel nice, but I wasn’t used to all of these compliments back to back. It was almost too nice.

  “So, what brings you to Briarwood?” Todd asked, staring at me intensely.

  “School,” I replied dryly.

  He laughed, leaning in toward me. “I like you. You’re funny, but I meant, what are you studying?”

  “Engineering,” I responded, watching his face to see how he would react to a woman in STEM.

  His eyebrows shot up across his forehead. “Really? That’s awesome. Conquering a male dominated field. You’re a brave woman,” he said, waving his fork at me.

  I chuckled. “Alright, it’s not like a hellscape or anything, but it is challenging.”

  “I bet. I could never do that. I’m majoring in Health and Wellness.”

  I should have known.
He was far too friendly to be in any technical field, and his body was lean and muscular. I didn’t see a single piece of meat on his plate either. Probably a vegetarian.

  “Cool,” I said. “I guess you’ll be the fitness trainer that fucks people’s wives.”

  Todd nearly spat out his food, his eyes bulging out like a fruit bat. “Jesus, I hope not. I’m not really that kind of guy.”

  I shrugged. “There are worse ways to be.”

  Todd frowned, truing serious. “I’m really monogamous. One woman, and that’s it.”

  Weren’t we all? Save for a few oddballs, I assumed most of the young adults on this campus were looking for just one partner. I could hardly imagine juggling two or more, but hey, if that’s your thing, more power to you.

  “That sounds very nice,” I replied to Todd. He seemed defensive about his reputation. Usually, the guys that were had something to hide. “Are you taken then?” I asked, digging into the reason he had asked me to dinner.

  Todd shook his head. “Free as a bird,” he said. “For now,” he added with a flick of his fork.

  I figured as much. “Same here,” I said, taking some soggy green beans onto my fork and examining them before placing them into my mouth.

  “Consider this a date then,” Todd said hopefully.

  I didn’t have the chance to shoot him down. We were interrupted by flying food. Someone behind me had tripped, and his tray went flying into Todd, smacking him right in the face and covering him with a variety of food.

  The guy that flung the plate tumbled down dramatically beside the table, looking up with what I swore was a flicker of a smile before springing back to his feet. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at the mess that was Todd’s face.

  Todd was sitting in shock, struggling to maintain his friendly demeanor as greasy liquid dripped from his face. His cute sweater was completely covered in white sauce, and there was a green bean stuck to his cheek.